by Ms Dentata
I’m writing this post a wee bit wasted, at 12.30 on Saturday night, waiting for one of my besties (D) to show up with chocolate and ice cream.
On Monday, D leaves town. It will be the first time since we met (at least 3 years ago) that we will live further than 20 minutes walk from each other.
I have tried to avoid dwelling on this fact, because over those 3 years D has grown into a massive source of support, love, nurturing, and emotional closeness in my life. My ex-boyfriend acted in a way which often led to me worrying he had a problem with my close and devoted friendship with D. Despite the lessened contact we had during mine and x’s relationship, D was one of the first people who stepped in at break-up level to help keep me safe and healthy.
He stays up with me when I’m insomniac, we go on ridiculously inefficient grocery trips together, we eat pizza like it’s nobody’s business, and we share so much love.
He also used to pay me for sex. In fact, it was how we met.
When I first joined the escort forum I was on, and contemplated working privately in a slightly more formal manner, D was a very welcoming voice on the forum. We talked a lot and exchanged a little bit of geeky jokes and flirting. Then I received an e-mail from him, after I’d been on the forum for a while and was establishing myself as a popular and well-reviewed private escort, saying that he was really interested in engaging my sexy services and that he’d been a bit worried coz he’d been enjoying my posts a lot and didn’t wanna crush on me. I showed up at his house one night to meet him, and to have sex with him, this man I’d really come to know- in a virtual capacity.
(22/8/11- I finally feel I can finish this post)
D and I had a great escort/client relationship. We used to see each other once a week or once a fortnight, depending on our timetables. I did an overnighter with him once because he wanted to spend the night with a lady, and I showed up to find one of the finest munchie spreads I’d ever seen. We would smoke a joint, demolish some hells pizza, have mutually great sex, and then hang out. I got into the habit of spending time with him ‘off the clock’ before and after bookings. He would text me during the day to see if I wanted to come over that night, and I would often show up from university, take a shower, put on clean lingerie, and grab condoms out of my backpack. It was really relaxed and enjoyable and beautiful.
One day D and I had a conversation, and discussed the fact we were spending lots of social time together. We talked about how we thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company, but both felt concerned that our developing emotional bond may complicate the professional arrangement between us. And we agreed to cut out the paid sexual arrangement between us.
One of the most amazing things (for me, at least) about this transition was being able to talk to a man who had employed sex workers services as a way of coping with social anxieties and insecurities. To be able to go from being a professional who dealt with these, to a friend who could honestly and explicitly tell him he was great in bed, great company, and had always been one of my favourite and more enlightened clients. Having someone who had met me through my work but has never ever dreamt of saving me, of pushing my professional boundaries, but whom I had grown to love anyway has been a really magical thing for me.
There are so many clients who have tried to become my ‘friend’ but with whom I have never felt a natural affinity or social desire for. There are many clients who are fond acquaintances of mine. There are clients I would not acknowledge on the street. And there are a few clients (not many) who I would date in a heartbeat. But I have never met anybody else like D. I have never had a friend like this beautiful and loving guy, and nobody has ever made me feel quite like he has.
Friendship is fucking beautiful, and I feel really blessed that the industry has provided me with one of the kindest and sweetest friends a girl could ever wish for.
Love you D, buddy.